How to Inflate Yourself Without a Pump

August 19, 2023
David Sunnyside

A human’s body is not much different than a balloon or tire. Both can be made bigger and even more puffed up when they are subjected to pressure. But unlike a balloon, it’s not easy for the average person to fill themselves up like that, unless you are very athletic or incredibly thin.

One way that some people try to inflate themselves is by breathing in very hard. This isn’t very effective unless you are very light on your feet and can take in a lot of air at once, but it is possible if you are able to do it for long enough.

Other people have tried to use their mouths to inflate themselves, but it’s a pretty slow process and can leave you feeling very tired and out of breath. You can get faster results by using a blower, such as a leaf blower or an air mattress blower. This can be a little tricky to set up, but once you do it will only take a few minutes to fill your bed with air.

Lastly, there is also a very creative and out-of-the-box method that uses a vacuum cleaner. This can be an option if you forgot your pump at home or don’t have one. Simply lubricate a long piece of plastic tube with vaseline and stick it up your anus 2-3. It might feel weird at first, but it will work if you keep pumping it up.

David Sunnyside
Co-founder of Urban Splatter • Digital Marketer • Engineer • Meditator
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