As any good friend or relationship counsellor will tell you, trying to ‘fix’ someone is never a good idea. This is especially true when it comes to a woman you love. In fact, it can be downright toxic.
It’s easy to feel compelled to be the one who ‘saves the day’ for the girl you love – especially when she is having trouble. Whether she is having financial issues, has a bad habit like nagging or has a mental health problem, it can be tempting to step in and make her better. However, this is a recipe for disaster and will usually only make things worse.
In attempting to make their partner into an imagined ideal, the “i can fix her” approach undermines the power balance in their relationship and forces them to question their own self worth. As the 2023 series of Love Island proved, this is a terrible way to treat a woman. For instance, despite being a successful entrepreneur, 23-year-old Jess was left to wonder about her own self worth when Sammy slept around with other women. Ultimately, she was left feeling even more damaged by the experience and ended up leaving the show.